Who exactly is Christina Pereira?

This week I hit a stone on my path. The day did not start well. I woke up at 7am, showered, and got ready to take my man to work, nothing out of the ordinary, or so I thought. I came to a realisation about myself, that I have never even taken into account before. More about that later. After taking my man to work, I was in a rush to get home to start my work day. When you are your own boss, and try to keep within deadlines, you can let things control you, and become counterproductive. I have always tried to keep life simple, and in order, without being obsessive, demanding or, heaven forbid, a control freak! That is not the Christina I ever want to become, but I digress… Because I was in such a hurry, instead of a reverse parallel park, I decided to park by driving forward into a spot in front of my house. Bad idea! A very bad idea, you see, I ended up scraping my neighbour’s car at 8am because of that bad idea. Perfect!  Like, what the fuck? I usually park like a boss, especially in tight spaces. What the hell? Yeah! It can happen to anyone, so I preach… but what the fuck?! I get out of my car and assess the damage of my neighbour’s car, then my car. Ah! Dammit! Scratched. Not much, but enough to see the fuckery of my action. I run upstairs to grab paper and a pen to leave a note on the windshield, then drove to the police station to ask for help on filling in the insurance damage form. I took care of everything, took photos, emailed my insurance company, all the while cursing myself for being so damn stupid, and of course the over usage of my favourite curse word continued to colour my morning like confetti being thrown at a parade. I mean, I could have hit my Dutch neighbour, but no, I had to hit my Polish neighbour with the foreign licence plate…Oh my goodness! Poor guy! He is going to have one tough time all because of me. I was feeling like shyte! More cursing and rainbow confetti. Charming! So all that hurriedness, just made me lose my whole day. My heart was not into my work, nothing was going right and no amount of positive vibes or matcha could make me tune back into my normal routine. My guilt just made my whole day a waste and unproductive. Lesson learned! From now on I will always remember to slow down and enjoy the beauty of the world around me. Stress is not going to control me ever again! Stress is counterproductive, if only everyone would realise that. When going for job interviews, how many times have you been asked: “how do you handle stress and deal with situations under pressure?” Companies that foster stress and pressure are the ones that ask that very same question, and that is an indication that you might not be making the right choice. Unfortunately we can not nit pick and choose where we would like to work. Most of us don’t have the luxury in the now, we just have to keep positive and keep looking or make positive change in the workplace of choice.

Hours passed. Night came. Phone rings. My man gets a phone call from the police. A note was found on a parked car on the other side of Tilburg. The note informed the car owner that they hit the car while parking, in Dutch, and signed off Christina de Jesus Pereira but forgot to leave a phone number. Okay… My man was quite surprised by the whole situation. He proceeded to explain very calmly: “You must be mistaken for many reasons. Firstly, the accident did not occur on the other end of the city,  secondly Christina would never write the note in Dutch and thirdly she would never sign off with de Jesus. Is that Christina with or without a ‘h’?”. “With”, said the other person on the line. That’s the most bizarre thing ever!

That was when I started to question myself and started having existential issues. The question hung over my head, who is Christina de Jesus Pereira? Same spelling as me? She definitely has character, and she, unlike me, can actually write Dutch, or is at least brave enough to do so. And why have I not removed that de Jesus from my name? Fuck! It’s not my birth name and I will not have it! There cannot be two of us in the same city. Hell no! What is going on? Who is this Christina de Jesus Pereira and who am I? Who am I really? What has lead me to this point in my life and where am I going in the future? What are my plans? I’ve tried several paths and have not been very successful. Which is the right path to take now? The only answer I can come up with is: the creative path. I have a creative mind, my curse, I tried most of my life to stay away from it and I thought biotechological engineering would do that, but it didn’t. I ended up fuelling my artistic side. I am very passionate about art, illustration, painting, calligraphy, and to the relief and joy of my man, I moved away from 3D and went back to 2D art. I tried photography and dedicated 3 years of my life to it, and truly wish I could pursue it, but to start my life from scratch as a native English speaker, with no prior professional experience has proven close to impossible. I thought that being a volunteer for the local newspaper would get me exposure, but that plan backfired. Once you work for free, especially as a foreigner, that is all you are worth. Then life took a turn. I was becoming so sick at such a rapid pace, to the point where I could hardly walk any more, I could hardly feel my feet, a sign that my diabetes was not getting any better, as my medication was increasing and nothing was getting better. I was on Insulin since 2012, then started taking Metformin in 2015 and going downhill… I will never forget the words that my doctor told me while she was discussing my blood results and her: “…it’s normal, for a diabetic…” This lead me into a new awakening and healing, a new reality. Totally unbelievable! The reality of the low fat cult, a total bull shit lie! Fast forward to today, 2 years later, I am experimenting in the kitchen and writing a cook book for a LCHF (Low Carb High Fat) diet, more precisely the Ketogenic diet. I am reclaiming my health, almost reversed my diabetes and dedicating this moment of my life to Keto. Now I ask myself: Who is Christina Pereira? Well… I definitely know that it is not de Jesus! She was born in Australia and now lives in the Netherlands, she loves to draw, loves calligraphy and has a passion for photography and is currently trying to publish a cook book. All this still seems surreal to me. Maybe I am living in a parallel reality. Maybe I am really Christina de Jesus Pereira, who lives on the other side of TIlburg, that speaks and writes Dutch. Maybe I am living a dream, or maybe I am the lucky one living the dream. Who knows? It really shouldn’t matter who I am, or wasting time trying to define who I am. I just am. I am Christina Pereira. I’m quirky, simple and love the simple things in life. I am happy. I am truly happy, and that is how I see myself, and measure my success. Where life takes me, I do not know, but I look forward to the journey, the destination does not matter; what matters is happiness and I am so fortunate to have found it. We all need to find our happiness. Do what makes you happy, enjoy your life but always respect others and be a good person. Always be good, that’s all that really should matter.

I am…

I will always be…


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6 thoughts on “Who exactly is Christina Pereira?

  1. A wonderful story; funny, exciting, a little sad and, finally, full of positivity, hope and light. And what an amazing coincidence Christina Periera The First.

    Christine Fitzgerald (aka motoguzzimomma, lol)

    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Really amazing, especially since there are only 7 registered Christina de Jesus Pereiras in Portugal and apparently 2 of them live in Tilburg, the Netherlands. >.<

  2. We truly are soul mates, sis. Yesterday was my birthday and for the first time in many years I truly, completely, enjoyed it. I didn’t think at the number at all. ^^’ And I actually said these exact words in my mind… “I am Anca Ramona Demian. I am me. I just am”. Isn’t it weird in an exciting, great way? 😀 I truly enjoyed your story. I had no idea you were so great at writing. I even smiled a little at your cursing. lol And I find it very Twilight Zone-ish that there is another Christina de Jesus Pereira in Tilburg. I am curious too, about her. 🙂

    1. Oh that’s great Anca! It’s so good when we come to realise exactly who we are and be happy in our own skin.
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m not too comfortable writing and an usually more comfortable being direct and to the point without all the embellishments and comedy images that come to play in my mind in those situations. This time I just let myself go and expressed myself more freely. Quite enjoyable. I really have to find this other Christina before I go crazy, and yes it is quite twilight zoneish. Hehe

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I had a good laugh sis.

  3. Dear Christina,
    Thank you to deal your thoughts with me and others who can read it.
    Soon I hope to make an appointment to see each other again.
    I let.you know. Love,Ina

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